Weed-loving rapper Waka Flocka Flame made headlines last week after posting a job opening in his entourage for a personal blunt roller, with a starting salary of $50,000. After announcing Thursday that the position had been filled by actor Seth Rogen, Waka explained to Eagle reporters that while he previously considered UNT Party President “Nasty Neal” Smatresk the top candidate for the job, the president actually turned out to be “overqualified.”
“Nasty Neal’s blunt knocked me flat on my ass after one puff. This guy should be rolling for like, Arabic sheiks and shit, not me,” he said. “Besides, if I hit this before going on stage I don’t think I’d have any flow left.”
Neal “Trap Dean” Smatresk said he has been packing blunts for more than 50 years, and his unmatched technique “flat out baffled” Mr. Flame.
“I was rolling blunts in my old man’s balls,” self-proclaimed Hood Pope Smatresk explained. “I’m totally gonna party with this guy, but he needs someone with a more mellow roll, y’all feel me? I pack these swishers like I’m about to launch the hood into space. Y’all motherfuckers forget why they call us the Mean Green?”
Upon hearing that Seth Rogen was chosen for the position instead, Nasty Neal laughed, and with a twinkle in his eye, boasted that he taught “that little puke Seth” everything he knows about bluntcraft.
“He’ll do a great job,” the Party President said. “I couldn’t handle the pay cut anyway.”
Despite turning him down for a job, Waka says he’s excited to collaborate with President “Honey Bear” Smatresk on an EP, “Dean of Dank,” set to drop early next year.
The Electric Eagle 