Summer

4 cool things to do in Denton this weekend

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1. Plan a baby kidnapping competition with your friends. The younger the baby, the better — they’re easier to carry! For extra fun, leave quirky ransom notes behind, asking for something silly like a whole pound of jelly beans! Threaten their child with violence if they do not comply.

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2. Denton is famous for its creepy old buildings and scary stories, so why not go on a ghost hunt? First, camouflage yourself to look like one, or else you’ll spook them away! Try wearing white bedsheets and a pillow case to cover your head — don’t forget the eye holes! Ghosts, like demons, hate Jesus, so be sure to carry a cross with you. The bigger, the better!

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3. If you’ve got a neighbor with a loud, annoying dog, give this cool prank a try. First, carefully remove their dog and replace it with a dead version of their dog. Then hide in a bush nearby. Once they figure out the crazy switcheroo, yell “Gotcha!” You won’t believe the looks on their faces!

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4. If you’re still bored, try sliding into the DMs (“Divine Messages”) of your nearest church, repenting of your sins, and pledging obedience to The Lord to live a life of purity. After all, pranks and parties are fun, but spending your eternity in Heaven is the trillest of all.

The Electric Eagle’s August 2014 Lookbook

Summer is the season to let your look cut loose. Go wild, don’t be afraid to show some skin, and take a peek at our August 2014 lookbook for the inspiration you need to craft your perfect outfit next month. Don’t forget the sunscreen!

1. The Beach Fedora

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Keep your greasy dome safe from sand and sun with this touch of fun flair for any beachy outfit. Experiment with different plaids and pastel colors for an extra-summery look. Pipe optional, but classy as all hell.

2. Juggalo EVERYTHING

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Summer may be hot, but the musical stylings of the Insane Clown Posse are even hotter! Haute hatchet couture from Psychopathic Records’ most beloved rap duo will give your look that white trash edge you didn’t know you needed.

3. Open Carry

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Think a weapon shouldn’t be used as a fashion accessory? Well, fuck you! It doesn’t even matter what else you wear with your high-caliber chic, because heads will be turning wherever you go.

4. Wildebeest Skull

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Nothing will get the ladies purring quite like asserting your alpha male status with a fresh kill. Bonus points if it still holds the scent of your raw, unbridled bloodlust!

5. Presidential Sweats

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Think sweatpants aren’t fashionable? Perhaps you haven’t met our little friend, President Ronald Wilson Reagan. If those grey shapeless abominations are good enough for the gipper, they’re sure as shit good enough for you. Are you a fucking communist or something? Where am I?